Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Batty Bag Man

For what it's worth, I wrote this back in mid-December... sorry for the delay. I was waiting until I had pictures of his massive bag collection. I've since decided I don't always need a picture to go along with the written stuff. And if I wait too long, this stuff won't ever get published! So here you go, 2 months late.

So, you've heard of the Crazy Cat Lady, right?

Meet, the Batty Bag Man.

"There are other people like me out there..." said Bond in a desperate attempt to justify his bag addiction. (Yah maybe.. WAY out there..)

That's right. He's a bagaholic. It's true. And he even admits to it.

We always knew he liked bags. You know.. he'd buy one here or there. And he always had a reason why he needed it. And if he didn't need it, well.. he might... one day.... for something. Maybe. If he couldn't convince me of that, his mathematical manipulation skills could certainly convince me that it was a "good deal."

He actually bought 3 very old backpacking bags for $15 at a garage sale a few years back. (And the previous owners looked SO excited that he offered them $15!! FIFTEEN DOLLARS BOND! It's a garage sale! They weren't even worth fifteen cents!) We have never ever used them.


No, they're sitting in the bag bin in our garage.

Yes. The bag bin. It's one of several giant tubs -- tubs, by the way, are an extension of his bag addiction -- full of the junk we don't use on a regular basis. But the bag bin is JUST for bags. Bond's bags.

And it's full.

It's so full in fact, that we don't have room in it to put his other bags that are filling up the house.

He's not just into backpacks, he also has man purses. He even asked me a few days ago as we were getting out of the car, "Hey, can you grab my purse?" He called it a purse!!

Should I be worried?

So, he likes man purses.. and wallets. And his addiction has gotten SO bad.. that when he asked me if he could buy another one, I told him if he bought this one, then he couldn't buy another bag for 6 months, and that he had to use this bag for 12 months. And he actually had to THINK about if he could go that long without buying another bag. He got the bag. But he's still looking at others. The temptation is too great for him I guess...

Seriously. Why would I make this stuff up?

Bond's bagoholism is very severe and has many layers. I mentioned earlier than tubs were an extension of his bag addiction. Not only does he enjoy having every bag ever made, but he enjoys packing them, and repacking them, so that everything fits perfectly and has its very own special spot.

It takes an entire day to pack to go anywhere. Bond will have all the things we need (and more) sitting out on the floor or table or both and stand over them for hours, figuring out the best way to pack them and which bags to pack them in.

The man has bags for packing everything.

Example: On our car, we have a rack that can hold stuff in it. (Since we have 3 kids and a dog now, we don't have much room for luggage. This "bag" is totally okay with me.) For the rack, we have a number of accessories. When we're camping, he puts 4 black tubs in the rack. (Different black tubs than the ones that hold all our junk. These are thinner and can be locked.) When we're on a family vacation, he has a really big black water-resistant bag that fits in the rack. In the big black bag, we have room for 4 smaller red water-resistant bags in which we put our clothes and bathroom essentials. Even our dog crate is in a bag, with pockets... lots and lots of pockets.

I guess pockets are another extension of his bagaholism.

At this point in our lives together I'm not afraid that Bond will choose bags over me. So I'm safe there.

But, really. Wow.

If you or someone you know is suffering from bagaholism... let's chat. We need to set up a B.A. for these people.

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