Monday, March 5, 2012

Introducing: Logic Gone Wrong!!!

My Bond will be the first to admit... I have some MESSED UP logic sometimes. :)

I'm actually starting to think it's kind of funny.. and I wouldn't mind being able to reference it every now and then when I need a good excuse but have forgotten "that really good one" I used to know.

So, for your reading pleasure, I'm going to offer up some of my ridiculous excuses for logical excuses.  It'd be awesome if I could do this on a monthly basis.. but well.. we know my track record.

Cookie Crisis
Thin Mint cookies... They come with two packs per box.. so you'd think that's 2 servings.  But according to the box, there are "about 7 servings of 4 cookies."  So here's an easy, 7-step process on how to get your cookie fill, guilt-free. 

1. Open box.  
2. Pull out pack of cookies.  
3. Take out four cookies.  
4. Replace pack inside box.  
5. Close box.  
6. Eat cookies.  
7. Repeat.   

See.. if you're doing it this way, you're burning a few more calories than if you weren't putting the pack back into the box.  You're exercising your muscles and your patience too.  Waiting for those cookies is difficult!!!  I feel much less guilty eating a box of Thin Mints in one sitting when I'm exercising at the same time.

Leap Day Longevity
The other day I had a little anxiety attack when I realized I'm supposed to turn 30 this year and leave my 20's behind.  Today I am happy to announce I've decided to instead turn 29 again.  I get this privilege because it's Leap Year.. and in honor of February getting an extra day.. (the 29th).. I get to experience an extra year of 29.  Had I been turning any other age.. it wouldn't work.. you see?)

Chocolate Cake is a Balanced Meal
Chocolate sheet cake is a healthy breakfast... right?  There's milk and butter.. and there's your dairy.. and eggs are good for you.. some protein.  And flour.. that's like.. grains.  And cocoa powder is made form cocoa beans.. and beans are vegetables, right?  And then there's pecans in the icing.  Yeah!  I've got plenty of food groups in there!  Healthy!

(I was unaware of this at the time of logic illumination.. but apparently Bill Cosby became aware of the health benefits of baked goods a long time before I did.  So OBVIOUSLY.. if someone else has thought of this too.. it MUST be true.)

I hope you sweet and faithful readers enjoyed my first episode of Logic Gone Wrong.  Maybe there will be another one... maybe not... You'll find out.. eventually. :)