Summary of a Road Trip

It probably wasn't the wisest decision I could've made.. you know... the one where I decided to go on a 3-week-long road trip.. with 3 young kids... and without my hard-working husband.  Really, what was I thinking?

It got interesting even before we left.. because 2 days before take-off Newbie was diagnosed with pneumonia of all things!!  I KNOW!! (She's better now by the way.)
Along the way we've encountered a random bout of diarrhea (poor Sunshine - was on the B.R.A.T. diet for 3 days and only got to drink chocolate soy milk), potty regression (thank you Tank), and tons of poop-splosions from Newbie.  What's with all the potty trouble on the road trip, hm?

Really though, it's been an amazing time. I didn't get pulled over once (so far) and I've driven about 2000 miles by now!  I got to see some of my favorite friends and God really worked me over while I was with them.  He really brought me some peace through these friends.

I also got to see my Gramma, the coolest Gramma who ever lived because she's confessed to me all the stories of her crazy antics as a youngster and beyond.  She also rode a motorcycle.  Yup.  She's that cool.  (She's probably reading this too. But I'm not just brown-nosing.  She can attest to the time I called her a "Cool Gramma" when I was younger.)  I also got to meet my Gramma's partner in crime, which was so neat after hearing all the stories of the trouble they stir up together.

Oh!!  I also got to experience Small-Town Texas at it's best!!!!  So.. here's a little side-story for y'all. *wink*  On my way into Ft. Worth, I stopped in a town called Bowie (said "boo-ee" like the knife, not "bow-ee" like the David).  I'd heard that the Dairy Queens in Texas had more than just ice cream (really?) and pulled up to the town DQ.  And everyone was staring at me.  They stared at me when I walked in.. when I set my 3 kids down at a table.. when I ordered... every move I made, I was being watched.  Of course, plenty of people oo-ed and aw-ed at my little Newbie, because she's only the cutest little baby anyone had ever seen this side of the Panhandle.. *wink*  But anyway.. I was worried that maybe people in Texas didn't have 3 kids.. or maybe they didn't wear spaghetti straps.. or maybe there was toilet paper sticking out of my pants that got stuck there at the last rest stop!  It freaked. Me. Out.

I got over it though.

But then, on my way OUT of Ft. Worth, we stopped in Bowie again, but this time for breakfast.  So we hit up the McDonald's, which was immediately next door to the DQ.  The first thing I noticed was there weren't any parking spots left.  Small town, small parking lot.  Okay.  But then, when I was on my way inside I was stared at again!!  I got in the door and looked around and every single seat was taken.  I'm not even kidding.  It's McDonald's people!  Not two steps in the door, a lady, prolly in her 60's, walks up to me and says, "Do you mind if I babysit the little one here while you order?"  I didn't even finish stuttering over the first word, which was "uh," before she carried my Newbie to a table where she and another man had been sitting about 10 feet away.  I nearly panicked, but reminded myself I was in Texas.  Texans were different than the people in Colorado.  Plus, she was older and I was younger, and the building was small and there was only one visible exit and I could totally run faster than her. And then I could sick Tank on her while I pried my sweet Newbie from her hands. I kept a close eye on them while I ordered.  Newbie started to cry and I handed Strange Stranger Lady a bottle, and that made Newbie happy while I waited on the order.  It finally came up and I took the tray and my boys and we walked toward the table as the man who'd been sitting with Strange Stranger Lady stood up and said, "I'm on my way out, have a seat. You take care now."  It hit me then that Strange Stranger Lady and this man weren't married.  We sat down and I noticed that everyone was talking to everyone.  People were hanging over seats and talking over shoulders and laughing at someone's joke from across the room.  And everyone was at least 60-something.  It was like.. near-geriatric junior high.. people switching seats and laughing and everyone knew everyone.  It dawned on me.. that's why they stared.  I was clearly not from around here.  It wasn't that I looked funny, it was that they didn't know me!
Anyway.. breakfast was good and so was the conversation.  I got to hang out with friendly people who loved my babies and thought I was crazy for liking the Texas sky as much or more than the Colorado mountains. And that's my Small-Town Texas Experience.  Thank you very much.  Now back to your regularly unscheduled blog post.

So after some time in Texas, Land of the Awesome, we headed up to see Bond's family and spend some time with my dad and sisters, plus some old friends from college. (College friends are old now? Hm.)  I've almost adjusted to the bitter cold and dryness of Colorado again. Maybe someday God will plant me in His Second Promised Land that Moses forgot to write about in the Bible... (okay, don't hit me!)

I'm on the last leg of the trip now.  Only two more "sleeps" and we get to drive the 5-hour trip home.. over four slow and twisty mountain passes.  (At least I'm stealing my sister away and bringing her with me!)  One of the joys of living and driving in Colorado:  Everything takes longer because you're slowed down by some kind of road obstacle.. be that snow/ice, potholes from the snow/ice, construction to fix the potholes from the snow/ice, suicidal animals who hate the snow/ice, or twisty roads with gorgeous views behind the drop-off cliffs... that are covered in snow/ice 9 months out of the year. (Sunshine said the funniest thing on the way over the passes the first time when Tank said he was scared.  "Don't worry Tank!  Those pine trees will catch us if we fall!!"  Apparently Tank isn't very enthusiastic about my ability to stay on the road. Thank you Tank.)

This trip hasn't been as hard as people make it sound like it should be, but it's certainly been full of adventure.

What.. you're mad because I don't have any pictures?  When am I supposed to take pictures?!  I'm on a crazy-long road trip all alone with my 3 young children!  You think I'm Super Woman or something?!  Yeesh!

So Long, Gummy Smile - Part 3

As life would have it, I haven't had much time to blog lately. What with Newbie's new crawling gig, Sunshine's completion of pre-school, and Tank's continued refusal to use the potty... I'm surprised I have time to sleep!!!

*yawn*

Oh wait...

Anyway. :) I once wrote a blog entry called "So Long, Gummy Smile - Part 1". This was like, March. I still need to write Part Deux.. you know, the one that usually comes after Part 1 and before Part 3.. but like I said.. haven't had the time.

I still don't. But. Then I discovered THIS...

.. no no.. THIS..

Dang! Missed it! HERE!

Do you see it? Look closer!!

The beginning of tooth number FOUR! And it's a top tooth!!!

*whew!* That was hard!  She did NOT want to give that one up! And it's still barely visible.. sorry.

I discovered it during a recent (say, 5 minutes ago) game of hold-me-upside-down-and-make-me-smile-because-I'm-not-much-of-a-laugher.. so I just had to make time for Part 3.

I have taken pictures that will be used in "So Long, Gummy Smile - Part Deux."  I just haven't had time to edit and upload them.  But with Topper here coming in.. I just HAD to post SOMETHING!!!

So there!!  Part Deux to come... someday. :)

You can call me Hot Rod (Hindsight is 20/20)

Fact: 75 mph in a 60 mph zone is too fast.

Fact: Lady cops will not let you off, no matter what, but especially not if you say something stupid.

Fact: I am that. girl. who thinks of all the right things to say only after the time has come and gone to say them, and only after I said something stupid.

Fact: I got a ticket on Thursday. Apparently everyone knew (except me) that if you go even 1 lousy mph too fast on this stretch of road you'll get pulled over and written up a "traffic citation."

Definition of a Traffic Citation: Lady Cop's whack at sounding smart in order to make you, driver, feel even more stupid as all the drivers in the cars you just impatiently passed whiz by and laugh at you.

I saw her turn around and come to get me. I should've pulled over the moment I saw her turn around. Why bother make her chase me down with her stupid blinking lights? I could've done her a favor, maybe she'd have done me one then. But there was a tiny spark of hope left in my heart.. maybe it wasn't me she was after.

Alas, after what felt like an eternity, she turned on those stupid blinking lights and I immediately groaned and pulled over, carefully turning on my clicker.

"We're going to meet a real live cop today, kids!" I tried to make light of the situation. We'd already been driving for two to two-and-a-half hours.. the kids were as ready to be done with the trip as I was.

"Why?" asked Sunshine, bluntly.

"Well, Mommy was going too fast and the cop is going to give mommy a ticket."

I continued explaining what a ticket was, etc, etc, as I reached into my wallet to pull out my ID, and into the glove box to get the insurance and registration. And then I sat and waited, looking out the window waiting for the cop to come and embarrass me.

I startled at the sound of the knock.. she'd come to the passenger side. I silently wished I'd packed the passenger seat too full to open the window as I searched for the right button to roll it down. I handed her my papers before she even had time to say "hello."

And then. AND THEN she told me I was going too fast and actually asked me why!!!!!!

This was where I faltered.

"Well Lady Cop, I don't particularly like driving and I was obviously trying to get to my destination sooner, so as to reduce my time on the road!" I could've said.

"Lady Cop, I've got 3 kids and a dog back here. Wouldn't you be hurrying too?" I should've said.

"Lady Cop, I know you don't have anywhere to be right now, or anything to do but make my day more miserable, but I actually have somewhere to be right now. So rather than ask me stupid questions to which you don't really want to know the answers, would you mind just giving me my ticket and letting me go?" I could've sassed.

"Lady Cop, if you'd have kept driving, instead of pulling me over, you'd have seen the school bus I was stuck behind for 10 miles and the very long line of cars behind it. I legally passed him and decided to make up some time."

or...

"Lady Cop, if you'd have kept driving, instead of pulling me over, you'd have seen the school bus I was stuck behind for 10 miles and the very long line of cars behind it. I legally passed him and simply forgot to turn my cruise control back on."

She's asking me why I was going so fast?! I was stunned. I paused. I couldn't think of ANYTHING.. not even the best truth!

"Uh.. well I'm hoping to find a place with coffee.." I stuttered, "Because I'm really tired.." I moaned, laying my head down on the wheel, wishing I had an extra foot to stick in my mouth. Oh no.. did I really just say that?! Anything but that!

At least I stumped her for a moment. The response was so stupid it was contagious. She didn't say anything for the moment and then went on with the next thing I couldn't believe...

"Well, you were going too fast for me to issue you a warning..." she spat. (She teased me with this possible truth a few times during our little "talk.")

A warning? I could've said something witty here too... like..

"Oh really? How fast would that have been? You know.. for next time."

Or maybe..

"Lady Cop, you wouldn't have bothered pulling me over if you could have issued me a warning. Let's face it, that's not your style. You're here to write tickets, and that's it."

I could've tried this one..

"Lady Cop, we both know that's not true. You cops can fudge anything on there you want to, and you do it all the time. You get to choose if you want to let me off with a warning.. but I was speeding with a car-full of kids. Of course you don't want to spare me and let me go. You're probably a mom too and hate that parents like me put ourselves and our children at risk by speeding. You want to make me sorry for what I did, not give me an excuse to do it again. Who cares if I could've bought more food or diapers for my children with the money I'm about to spend in your county paying your salary. Don't sit here and tell me you can't let me off with a warning, like it's something you can't control. Tell the truth. You don't want to and so you won't."

I was still too stupefied by the first words that'd come out of my mouth, so I chose not to say anything at all for the rest of her scolding. She told me it would take awhile for her to write out my "citation" and left me there, where I finally cried. Poetically enough, it started raining too, so I closed the window.

I think I sat there 20 minutes before she finally came back and told me all the nonsense about my brand new traffic citation. It was her explanation of the charges that confused me..

"You were going 15 mph over, and that's a 4-point ticket," she pointed out. "It's $132 for [insert insulting cop explanation here] which is $32 for [insert more insulting cop explanation here] and $2.50 for DNA ---" DNA?! What the heck is that?! I have my own! Why are you charging me for that?

Seriously... it was like a cell phone bill.. all these extra hidden fees. Who knew? My total bill ended up being about $170. Do you know how many diapers I could've bought for $170?!

She told me about how I get my points reduced by two if I pay it, and if I don't she showed me when and where I'd have to be at court. I should've asked..

"So.. what's the benefit of going to court, other than seeing your lovely face again?"

.. but I didn't. That was probably smart.

She handed me my shiny new not-golden-win-a-trip-to-Willy-Wonka's-Chocolate-Factory ticket and told me to have a safe trip, or something. I began rolling up the window before she'd turned away, to show her how mad I was.. you know.. because she would care.. because Lady Cop had a heart. Not.

(In hindsight, I wish I'd had my phone ready to take a picture of her before she left. If she would've asked why I snapped a photo of her, I would've told her I blogged and given her my blog address. I'd have told her I was about to make her famous as the meanest Lady Cop ever. Oh well.)

As Lady Cop was walking away, my phone rang. It was my father-in-law. We were on our way to see him, by the way.

"Hello?"

"Hey, whatcha doin'?" he inquired.

"Just got a ticket!" I blubbered... crumpling up my ticket and throwing it across the car like the trash it was. I flicked my clicker on, waited for remaining traffic to pass, and pulled back onto the road.. dreading the remaining three hours of my drive.

And here begins all the ridiculing from my friends and family.. the laughter at my ticket location.. because everyone knows you'll get a ticket if you even hint at speeding there.. except me, of course. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Haha! Just kidding, Mom. About next time, I mean.

Premature Buyer's Remorse

"Premature Buyer's Remorse." Did you know that existed? It does. I've had it. Very recently, in fact.

Before I went grocery shopping last night, I hit up Joann's to find some fabric to make a DIY Moby. I hardly looked at the fabric. I got caught up in the flowers. Those cute flower headbands at the store cost like $5 or $6 and that's just dumb. I see those and think, "I can make those way cheaper." And now that I have a girl, I really want to play with that stuff! Flowers and butterflies and pink and purple.. and cute little bows and barrettes. The barrettes have to wait a little longer.. Newbie needs hair first.. so I'm left with headbands. ANYWAY.
I stopped and stared at the daisies.. (as opposed to smelling the fake roses). I picked up several colors.. a couple different pinks and yellows.. reds and oranges.. even a blue one. And then I needed several colors of buttons of course, and those tiny beads so you couldn't see the ugly thread I would use to sew the buttons on with.. and then I needed a container to put the beads in....

Suddenly I had a whole cart-full of stuff to make flower headbands and barrettes with. I figured I'd just give the extras to my nieces and friends with little girls.. or trendy friends who can totally get away with putting flowers in their hair.

I got to the check-out and there was a line. I didn't make it very far into the line before getting a sinking feeling in my chest. I looked down at my collection of craft-able items and pouted.. knowing full well that I should not buy them. It took me an hour to hoard these things off the shelves.. to pick the best one of each item. Most things were even on sale.. 50% off or whatever. But I couldn't do it, and I spent the next 15 minutes redistributing my flower-making ingredients back to their rightful places in the store.

I don't have time to do this, I thought.
I still have bow-making stuff sitting in my basement, I remembered.
Bond would kill me, I acknowledged.

I still stand fake-flower free.

And then today I went shopping while the boys were at school. First I went to Mardel's. I'd spent so much time in Joann's last night, that by the time I made it to Mardel's they had closed. I looked at all kinds of homeschooling things, lots and lots of books to review over the summer and really solidify their pre-math and pre-reading skills before we leap into it in the fall. Of course they had a ton of clearance things... I did pick up some $5 Veggie Tales movies for Tank and Sunshine's birthdays.. Tank's is next week. And I found a good Preschool Bible book to do with the kids over the summer to help get me into a nice homeschooling habit. But I stayed away from the music CD's, the new bibles, the very tempting "Jesus Loves Me" baby clothes. I did good.

Old Navy was just down the strip from Mardel's. I'd picked out 3 $10 outfits for Newbie before putting them back and walking out. I sent some time in Hobby Lobby as well this morning, drooling over the fabric and wishing they had some headband ribbon so I could have an excuse to go get some flowers....

I hit the mall next - I know.. did a ton of shopping in one day - and I wanted to see Gymboree. I love their stuff, but decided almost instantly that it was way too expensive. I'll have to wait for those things to go on clearance!

I love shopping, especially without the boys. But it seems like every time I'm about to buy something I have remorse and put it back. It's a depressing feeling, and it's probably the reason I don't have any new clothes that keep up with today's styles.

Yeah...

That's my excuse for dressing like a slob.

I get premature buyer's remorse.

...

I wonder if there's a cure for that?

Who knew it was so easy?

Do you remember Joey from Blossom?



The high-pitched-for-a-boy "Whoa!" expression made itself present in my home this morning via Sunshine.

Tank went downstairs first. I heard him get excited about something and then call upstairs for Sunshine in his cute almost-three-year-old voice, "You gotta come down here!"

So Sunshine busted it downstairs...

"Look at THIS! Donuts!" Tank cried.
"Whoa!" said Sunshine.
"And look! Cap'n Cwunch!"
"Whoa!"
"And we got Tiger Cereal too!" (That's our way of saying Frosted Flakes.)
"Whoa! And look! Little foods for Newbie too! This is gonna be so cool!"
I heard Tank climb onto my stool - yes I have a footstool in my kitchen. I'm short fun-sized. Be nice! - and gasp, "Bananas!"
"Whoa!"
"Look! It's our favoritests!" yelled Tank. I'm not sure what he was talking about.. what item was his "favoritests," but something dawned on me through my giggles.

I need to go grocery shopping more often.

These guys were more excited that there was breakfast food in the house than they were when they saw new presents under the tree Christmas morning. (And they hadn't even seen the yogurt in the fridge, or the chicken in the freezer!)

They actually came upstairs to tell me there was food in the kitchen. Like.. no, I couldn't possibly have gone grocery shopping when the babysitter was there last night. Who knows what I was doing, but everyone knows I don't go grocery shopping. Ever.

As I was pouring cereal for Sunshine he reminded me that we didn't have any milk. "You can have milk if you want it honey."

"We have MILK TOO?! Wow Mom!" He ran and hugged me. "Thank you so much!"

I wanted to cry for a few different reasons. One) That is too cute. I'm raising kids who know how to be thankful. Two) My kids are apparently going so hungry and are so used to there not being food in the house that it's a novelty and a reason to party like it's 1999. Three) Sunshine was standing on my toe.

Haha. I used to think only the Wii could make my kids happy. But I was wrong. They're going to grow up to be real men, because even at this young age they're demonstrating that food is the way to win a man's heart.

Writer's Block

I had all kinds of interesting things to write about a few weeks ago. But then I got busy.. and as I try to remember those really interesting things.. they don't seem as interesting anymore. Alas.. time has dulled them.

For example.. a few weeks ago Bond took me on a frightening motorcycle ride. I was seriously afraid for my life. The next day my entire body was sore because I was squeezing him so tight. I think Bond only suffered a few cracked ribs from my death grip.
He took us on the interstate on the way home from our movie ... at 11pm ... and it was. so. dark. As we sped home through the black, lines and lines of blog went through my head. I knew exactly what to write. Clearly, my sub-conscious knew I would survive the excursion, even if my consciousness was sure it would be the last night of my life. Or maybe thinking of blog lines was easier than thinking about my death.
So anyway.. I had a whole blog written up in my head. But I got busy and time erased it.

It doesn't help when babies get sick either. Newbie.. did you know her hair stands up in a Mohawk after a swim? I kind of want to call her Moe now ..has been sick the last week. She hasn't been her smiley self and I hardly have time to go potty, much less pound out a decent write-up of some weird event in our lives.

Do you like my lame excuses for not blogging?

For a family update:
Sunshine is excited about homeschooling this fall. Much of my time recently has been spent hashing over curriculum. I'm not sure how some of these blogging homeschooling moms do it!
Tank is still potty training. 'Nuff said.
Newbie is getting well and has begun to push a second tooth through. The next installment of So Long Gummy Smile should be coming up soon... and soon may be next year. For the record... Because anytime I say "tomorrow" it ends up being another month or more before I write anything at all.

We're Back Online!

Oh I have so missed writing here over the last few days...

My computer died.

Well, actually.. the batter died like, a year and a half ago... and a few days ago the power cord finally broke.

So I was going to get a new power cord for like, $9 from Amazon.. but after reading all the reviews, and calling a techie place here in town.. I decided to just order one from HP. It only cost me an arm, a leg, and my first born child...

I really do miss Sunshine...

And typing is really slow...

And you know.. walking... isn't going so great these days.

But hey! I've got my computer up and running again. So hurray for that.


It's kind of sad, what I realized during my forced computer vacation. When I'm out there in the real world.. like, living my regular daily life.. I'm thinking about how I can blog about it.
My death-defying ride on Bond's motorcycle for instance.. (the blog will be posted at a later date.. either later tonight or tomorrow or something) .. the whole time I kept running different lines through my head. (Clearly, my subconscious had the intention of surviving the adventure, whilst the rest of my mind was certain it was the last night of my life.)
And then there's the decision to homeschool the kids.. yeah, once that was finally made I wondered how I'd write about it.. what angle I'd take.. etc, etc.
I think Bond might think this is unhealthy. Maybe it's a new beginning.
Like.. putting my thoughts into words.. maybe it'll help me think before I speak.
Mmh.. we'll see.

...

I wonder what I'd be doing these days if the internet had never been invented??